Rihanna's Forehead, What Is It Up To?

So there are millions of people trying to find out one thing right now; Rihanna's forehead.

The specifics? We have no clue. Maybe her forehead was seen taking a stroll through a Hollywood mall? Maybe performing a concert, or who knows, getting interviewed on NEWS program 20/20 that's supposed to report NEWS. Like, important news.

We've already talked about this enough for a day, but when so many people decide to search for "Rihanna's Forehead" that it comes across our news wire...something is wrong.

I think I'm going to hold my forehead to my head in overwhelmed disgust.



Indeed, Captain Picard. Indeed.

20 20 Rihanna ABC, Rihanna on 20/20

This is 20/20!

Tonight, we take a very important look at the most important thing in the world that a premiere broadcast program that is funded millions of dollars, on ABC, and reaches millions of homes worldwide MUST focus on. Our feature tonight is vital to everything IN YOUR LIFE.

We are of course talking about how tall is Rihanna?

Seriously, ABC, what is going on here. We have President Obama weaseling Obamacare through the senate, and yeah, we somewhat need a better healthcare system. Politicians need to be exposed, they are still lining their coffers with our stolen tax money and kick backs from corporate execs!

What ever happened to Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters interviewing people who are vital to everyday life? I'd like to know what Mr. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is planning with all those nuclear reactors?

How about talking to someone from down in Fort Hood as a main impromptu exclusive? We need entertainment, let's just play old clips of George Bush giving a speech and Cheney getting away with, oh who knows, toruture, shooting a lawyer with bird shot and a billion dollar oil scheme that left a nation even more impoverished. Aww, who wants to do that?

Let's see, where is Rihanna from? We can do that in 4 seconds on Google. Watch.

Oh look, Wikipedia beat everyone to the punch! Note the sarcastic tone!

Hi, I'm Rihanna. I am from Barbados and was born in 1988. Those facts are more important than anything you could have learned or had researced for a 30 minute segment tonight on 20/20! I also like ice cream! - Rihanna on 20/20

And okay, that took us 11 seconds. But the point still stands, there are things that shows like 20/20, Nighline, Dateline MSNBC and other "news" organizations just should not waste time "reporting".

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? That's from Juvenal, he was Roman. He pondered, "who guards the guardians, who watches the watchers?"

Or, who protects society from getting exploited by those we trust with power? Namely, our politicians and business leaders we let exploit our capitalist system.

The answer is supposed to be our free media. That's why it remains free. But when we start squandering time with questions about Chris Brown and Rihanna, when there's so much more we can focus on, that's just a sign of a culture that's falling apart.

Where is Rihanna from?

I'm sure 20/20 will dedicate another ten minute segment to tell us all about, and meanwhile, everyone else curls up on the couch and goes to sleep to the sound of vacuous chatter.

Then we wonder why we're in a recession, have so much violence and a world in turmoil. It's because everyone is ironically indulged in an empty culture and lifestyle full that really signifies nothing.

Soccer Girl Pulls Hair, The Ugly Underside of College Sports

In invigorating and exciting news today, we had soccer catfights breaking out during a soccer match between New Mexico and Bringham Young University.

Elizabeth Lambert will forever be known as the mean machine. If you took all the salt in Salt Lake City and rubbed it into an open wound following a match, it would not even compare to the pain Lambert was dishing out to all girls who crossed her path.

She did it all folks: pulling hair, cheap elbows. There may have even been some judo chops in there along the way. No way! You would think so, but there is video evidence:



I'd only dare to imagine what her games were like during little kid leagues; smash orange sliced into the eyes of her oppenents?

Really, there is competition and then there is just bad sportsmanship. Hopefully Ms. Lambert will apologize and this is not befitting her normal character or the way New Mexico University feels about the kiddos from BYU.

Where Is Rihanna From, How Old is Rihanna, How Tall is Rihanna

With tragic news this week and our country still in economic turmoil, it's a relief to see one popular trend is taking priority over all others this week in search media: Rihanna. ???

In Brave New World, Aldous Huxley speculated that the downfall of our Western culture and world would not be an oppressive government, but rather a people who became indulged in a shallow culture and excesses of capitalism.

When people reach a point to where they can sip $8.00 frappacino's, donned in the latest turtleneck from Macy's, while scrolling their iPhone in an internet cafe while a region of the world is being torn asunder from a greedy war, tragedy mars the US and well, you get the point.

Our culture is vacuous. So to those of you who are asking "Where is Rihanna from?".

"How old is Rihanna?"

"How tall is Rihanna?"

We're not telling you. Go watch the news or something, stop looking up pointless trivia about Rihanna.

Update In Medicine

Update in medicine
Be sure and read the Medical Breakthrough!

To prepare for the new healthcare reform package, we felt it necessary to develop a new medical symbol that truly depicts the Health Care Plan you will be getting!

MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH!

A French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois , put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.'
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